on the week

well, i don't have much time, but i just wanted to let my avid readers (all ..kate.. of them) know that i haven't lost interest in the blogging yet, it's just been a ridiculously busy week at work. lauren called out monday, so i had to be her and we're already down a person mon & tues, then tues we had this ridiculous 12-page bridal section that no one knew about, and then wednesday is weekend, and today i had to be lin, and we've moved our deadline up from 11 to 10, so now i work 230 to 1030. which sounds better, "ooh, earlier," but it's just a freaking hour. people are still asleep when i get home at 11. and now i just have less time during the day. boooo. oh well. such if life, i suppose.. i'm just tired of people acting like it's a great thing, but mostly they mean well, so i appreciate it even though i shoot it down.

so. in short, this week has been ridiculous. but in good news, sarah finally called, so i am going to see her -- and iain too! -- on saturday (i was getting a little nervous!), which is quite exciting. i'll be driving up into mass somewhere; mapquest says it's about an hour & 40, so we're praying my car makes it, haha. umm i got monday off, so i can go to my mom's party and maybe hanz's if i have time, but either way, i am having lunch with hanz on monday, so woot! in bad news, there's been some unresolved trust issues that i don't really want to talk about but which haven't been my favorite and which may get (at least more) resolved tonight, which i am sort of excited for but not really at all in the same exact breath.

the conversations (emails, i'm so not a phone person) seem to be going well with the old friend, and i'm coming up on some free time (i have been ridiculously busy lately for some reason), so hopefully we will get together and i can actually see her.

in other news, i seem surrounded by bridal whatnot. i read kate's blog regularly, where she posts about her wedding and her hopefully posts from.. weddingbee? i can't remember (sorry! terrible friend, i know). and i recently rented on a whim dvd episodes of a show called 'bridezillas' which follows brides in their planning processes and up through the wedding/reception. some of them they follow for months and some of them we pick up 3 days before, so i dunno how they choose. some of the women are like train wrecks, or more accurately, like the spoiled obnoxious girls on my sweet 16. you hate them but you can't look away! so i've become hooked to that show and been renting the episodes (i'm up through season 2, disc 1-4.. and i'm afraid blockbuster doesn't have any more, which makes me sad!). and then we had that ridiculous bridal section on tuesday (that no one knew and/or did anything about until about noon of that day.. oof!). so yeah. i dunno what's going on, but i feel surrounded by wedding stuff. which is fun but also eeky, cause if the universe is trying to tell me something, i still don't think i'm ready, let alone jon and i being ready together. eep. although i'm not so sure i'll ever be ready. i'm a little envious of people who have no doubts at all, because i'm just not sure i'll ever get to that point.. i don't want to be a divorce cliche, but watching my parents' 20+ year marriage end was sort of hard, especially since i was old enough to really understand what was happening. kind of makes me paranoid, you know? but eh.

man i'm uncomfortable sharing that. but i'm not going to erase it.

why? i don't know. some futile exercise in opening up?

but here's more uncomfortableness, until tomorrow: