and i saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies

(for the curious, that's a line from a fall out boy song (golden) that's stuck in my head.)

so i was just perusing facebook and saw a fellow classics major's page, and she had pics up from her graduation this year, and one of them had my favorite professor in them. he didn't come to my graduation, i think cause he had to go be with his sister or something, but either way it was a little sad for me. i had him for 7 classes, and he was my advisor for my classics major, and just a good guy in general. maybe i'll photoshop the pictures so it looks like he and i are in one, hahah. it's just crappy seeing him all dressed up for graduation and there when i didn't get that at mine.

but in good news, my bathing suit fits, and i am liking it. i'm glad we went with that one, and i'm glad we went with red. i am liking the red! i am actually sort of excited to wear it, minus the fact that it's a bathing suit and i am not bathing-suit-ready, haha. i like the back, i like the design, i wish more suits out there were like that. i am so tired of boring bathing suits, and i feel that a lot of other women are as well. maybe i'll start a bathing suit clothing line, haha. how sweet would that be? except i'd always just go look at the speedo web site and be like oh, i like that.. and copying isn't designing. fail!

i don't have too much to say today. i am just trying to get through the week.. vacation starts friday! we still have two hours left today, and i have already done the state page, and i have nothing else to do, so i'm pretty fairly bored. tomorrow is thursday and that is when i do my sunday pages, so i can waste a good chunk of time doing that.. and then friday i have to be the new britain city editor, which sucks. i don't want to! i want to be done at 10 and leave so i can go up to new hampshire. but their deadline is 11, so i may be here til 10:30 or 11, which sucks! aww crap plus i gotta web the stories, which i hate doing, it's annoying. bah. plus my coworker is being.. less than pleasant, you could say. although today we haven't spoken a word, so i guess that's fine too, ahha. at least then i don't have to listen to her hypocrisy. i hate it when people are so quick and easy to criticize other people and then can't take it when they get criticized. it just .. sticks in my craw. hah. so yeah. work. sucks. i want the next two days to be over so i can be going to nh and leeeaving ct and relaxing and not thinking and just having fun and hanging out with my family. i love my family, i really do.

i'm so excited they're all going to be there. i will probably feel differently about my bathing suit once OTHER people besides me see it, especially my brother's girlfriend. i like her, i really do, but she is the epitome of ...everything. she is short and blonde and skinny and alternately adorable and hot, and i feel sort of like an ogre when i stand next to her. oof. but the important thing is she is actually really nice, and funny, and i like her, and she seems good for my brother. i'll just wear a towel all the time.. haha.

apparently the dresses are in for the wedding, my dad's fiancee went to pick them up. for those who don't know, mine is this one: http://www.dessy.com/index.cfm?go=dresses&style=2046 in spruce. (you can see the style better if you make it a lighter color.) it's a little bit more of a teal than an emerald like it shows on the screen.. just a bit more blue than green, but still greenish. i apparently need to go out and find about 7 different undergarments for it, which is.. not exciting. but my dad's fiancee did send me some money for it, so that's nice. but does anyone have any suggestions for where i should go? i'm new at this sort of girly thing. speaking of new at girly, i'm also getting my hair did for this thing -- for the first time ever. or i guess technically the trial run will be the first time ever, and that is on sept. 15, which is 5 days before my birthday, so i am trying to get someone to take me out since i'll be all did up. oof. i hope it's not anything too fancy/hairspray-y. i don't want a helmet of hair. they were talking at the dress store about doing it half up, leaving most of it down and wavy, so that i am totally fine with. i just don't want that hard, crusty look that sometimes happens when people get their hair did. my hair's soft, and i like it that way, damnit. plus whenever it gets like that it always looks like it's really tight, like it hurts a lot. and i'm all about booing that. but i guess we'll see when the time comes, eh?

in randomly unrelated to anything news, i think i want "when i get where i'm going" (brad paisley) played at my funeral.. i just really like the song. the beginning goes..
when i get where i'm going, on the far side of the sky
the first thing that i'm gonna do, is spread my wings and fly
i'm gonna land beside a lion, and run my fingers through his mane
or i might find out what it's like, to ride a drop of rain
and it keeps going (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bradpaisley/whenigetwhereimgoing.html), and i just really like the whole idea -- chorus:
yeah when i get where i'm going
there'll be only happy tears
i will shed the sins and struggles
i have carried all these years
and i'll leave my heart wide open
i will love and have no fear
yeah when i get where i'm going
don't cry for me down here
..of course, i am sure it will make people cry, because it would make me cry if i heard it at a funeral, but i think it would be a sweet cry.
i have also decided that i want people to write down one song that reminds them of me, and then i want someone to make it into a cd. and people can buy the cd for like $5, which will go to a charity i haven't chosen yet cause i just started thinking about this today when i filled out a myspace survey that asked what song you want played at your funeral. i might change my mind about the brad paisley song, cause i'm sure it's probably overdone, but it's all i can think of right now, and i do like it. besides, it's country, and people can have a bittersweet laugh over how i'm laughing my ass off at all of them having to listen to country, cause mostly everyone i know hates country.

and now that i've been somewhat morbid and managed to solidly waste 30 minutes, i still have another hour and a half to go, so i am going to go write my mom an email and then go back to abandondedbutnotforgotten.com. oiy. i wish i could just go home already!